Lucy

Lucy was the very first pet owned by Alissa, one of the co-owners of Camelot Cremation. We met in a dog shelter. She ran out the door with a different family and I cried. It didn’t take long until we were one another’s first choice of companions. Lucy made me a mama. She was my baby before a I had a baby. And when that baby came, and I was so bedraggled from lack of sleep, I was still so intentional about sitting down to pet her after each 2 am bottle, making sure she felt not a bit less love with a new little brother in the mix. Eventually, more dogs and more babies came, but she was always my first.

When it came time for her to pass it wasn’t an easy decision. Her quality of life was gradually decreasing, she had been in cute little diapers for months. Not having a definitive “yes, this is the time” made it a wrenching choice – how do you REALLY know? The thought haunted me both before and after her passing. My husband took great care to gently lay her in the ground on a piece of property we eventually planned to build a house upon. I knew where her body was, but I struggled greatly with where SHE was. Her little soul, her spirit – all the love we had created and shared.

I’ve since had several dogs come and go, but never have I grieved as I did with my first, and in large part because I didn’t have a way to see her and our love living on. When we decided to create Camelot Cremation, I immediately thought back to my sweet, spirited girl. I still have nightmares today, over ten years later, that I have lost her, and I’m frantically searching for that chubby little ball of joy with black, curly hair and hot pink tongue. She was too special to just be GONE. She was too big a piece of me to be DONE. I needed a way for her to continue to matter and exist in this world.

Lucy is truly the inspiration behind the “Paw it Forward” program. I think it would have really helped my heart to heal, given direction and purpose to my grief if I knew that her passing meant another animal would experience comfort, help and love like the love we shared. Because of our connection, because it still exists – love and healing will continue to happen in this world. For the first time since she has passed, I think my heart for her has come to a greater place of peace. I’ve finally given her soul a place to rest – she is at the center of the Paw it Forward program, and will be responsible for so much more love and goodness in this world.